Archive for January, 2008

Relocation, Relocation

January 30, 2008

Well kids, this blogger’s upping and heading down sowwwwwwwfff.  I apologise in advance if I begin to adopt the Southern accent and write vehry prawwwpehrly in the Queen’s English.  I reckon I’ll rebel and get more Glasgae just to scare all them cockneys. 

 I’ll take some blogtastic photos on the way down for you all – you lucky lucky people.

 Car’s calling me. I must not neglect him.  He could spit me out halfway and desert me somewhere around Birmingham.  Scary.

Dancing in the Street

January 29, 2008

On Sunday morning in Glasgow, hungover and sleep-deprived, 4 friends spent most of the day watching MTV, talking shite and eating raw bacon sandwiches with 2nd-rate condiments (I only had ketchup, they wanted brown sauce).

We discovered a number of things.  Firstly, that no one reads the title of a music TV show, despite it being displayed prominently in the top left hand corner of the screen.  Secondly, Jack Penate has an annoying face.  Thirdly, emo bands like to dress in fancy dress in music videos – maybe they think this means people might take them seriously?  I know I did.

This video in particular though was worth the hangover, the lack of sleep, the long queue at the ABC, and the race for the last train Sunday night.  It therefore gets the stamp of approval.  

Pay particular attention to the dance Bowie does on the stairs right at the start.   I want an all-in-one jumpsuit like his.

Son of a Bitch!!!

January 28, 2008

I just wanted to use it in its entirety.

Entirety.  What a funny word. Not used that before. 

The Wham! Mystery

January 28, 2008

wham.jpg

There’s something that’s been bugging me for a while now and I thought it worthy of blog status.

I joined this thing called Last.fm last week. 

Good things about Last.fm:

  • It tells you who you’ve been listening to most, etc.. and I’m a fan of pointless stats and stalking myself. 
  • You can check your friends pages and get new music ideas
  • Hopefully your pals can see when you’re playing miserable/angry music and know that you’re feeling shite so either must be left alone, dragged out for night of fun and frolics or consoled with chocolate.  Just thought though, happy music can sometimes be played in times of crisis, so it’s maybe best not to take that as gospel

Bad things about Last.fm:

  • You feel like you can’t listen to Rihanna Umbrella as many times as you’d like to because, even though you love that song and are a bit obsessed with the dance in the video, everyone else thinks it’s a bit crap and you’re a bit embarrassed that you like it

Anyway,

So the point of my blog is this…

even though I never play it (I SWEAR!) for some reason my 5th most-played tune is Wham! Wake me up before you go go.   Whyyyyy?  I don’t understand.  I spend so long downloading/uploading my tunes, playing my favourite people, putting together interesting playlists.

Why pick on me Last.fm?  What have I ever done to you?  People are going to see my page and think ‘jeeeeez, she must really like that Wham! song. Sad cow’.  It could affect my life.  My future friendships.  My chance of ever having children.

 One of the reasons i’m so confused is because for some reason it is 2 above The Salmon Dance by the Chemical Brothers.  My flatmate is obsessed with the fishy song and makes me play it over and over.  So why, therefore, when I never listen to Wake me up before you go go, is Last.fm still telling me i’ve played it 3 more times than Sammy the Salmon??

 Confused.com? You bet I am.

 All I can say is – people, please don’t judge me.  I think elves are doing it when i’m not around. Sneaky wee buggers.

‘I’ll get you at the bridge’

January 21, 2008

These were the words that sealed my doom

The Blair Sheep Project

January 20, 2008

In a country called Scotland.  In a town called New Lanark.  Two brave explorers, Zoogirl and her trusty sidekick The Human Torch, went to the rescue of a stranded sheep in a dark wood by a river.  

Although they survived their ordeal, something happened to those girls that night, something sinister and unexplained. Determined never to speak of the horrors that lay within those woods, the only clue is this video.

I am Mary Poppins

January 15, 2008

Here is the evidence:

Birdy again

Birdy

Why Blogging is really really hard!

January 15, 2008

I always said I wouldn’t use my blog as a personal diary.  But in that case what the heck do you use it for?  There are number of pitfalls. 

Who’s going to read it? 

If you write your opinion on world events, or religion or politics, what is the chance that someone will come across it and give you a hard time, despite it being your opinion and your blog?  Hell, you could even start a war by accident! (may I just point out that this is in extreme situations)

Can you mention people you know? Will they mind?  Will your pal ever speak to you again if you reveal their secret love of Jennifer Lopez movies?

Do you write about what you like, what you dislike? Does that not then give random strangers too much of a window into your life? Do you care?

There’s always the option of comedy – this is the option chosen by a number of bloggers I know and it definitely works, however I’d buckle under the pressure of keeping the standard high!

Writing about something close to your heart can give too much away; it leaves the writer open to criticism and, if so, can feel it is themselves that is criticised, rather than the topic itself.

Or there’s the danger of writing what feels at the time like a mild piece on life, only to discover, when seen from your reader’s eyes, that it can actually come across in a completely different light and sound insulting to people you meant to praise. 

I don’t want to insult anyone, I’m not that funny, I don’t want the world to know my life and I don’t give a shit about politics!

So what the fuck do I blog!!!?!!!

P.S.

January 7, 2008

That’s me done now til something amusing happens to me!  Could be a while……………………… !  😛

Animal Diaries Chapter 1: An Introduction

January 7, 2008

AngelicaI swore I wouldn’t use this thing to talk about personal stuff but this is the last time i’m breaking this rule! I keep getting asked how I have so much time for blogging/writing etc..  Fact is I spend my mornings waiting for a beeper to go off.  No, I’m not some exciting highly-paid surgeon-doctor-type. I’m an animal ambulance driver.  I get paid to answer animal emergency calls, attending road accidents, trapped wild animals and many MANY birds with various broken bits!  Some days it feels a bit like i’m a killing wagon as the majority of my casualties are too injured to survive, so I have to euthanase them.  😦 

Some of the stuff I get is weird! Last week, knackered following our hogmanay trip, I spent 2 hours standing on a railtrack in the snow. A deer had been hit by a train and was badly injured. I injected it but, in order to move it without causing more stress to the animal, I had to wait for the anaesthetic to take effect and with deer this can take hours!  The railway staff waited with me, then shut off the trains so that I could carry the deer up the tracks to the van.  It was a bit scary, as we had a fixed time limit on how long the trains would be stopped so I had a woman watching the clock very carefully! 

Odd? Perhaps…but then, I’ve done weirder stuff. I’ve been a zoo keeper at various zoos round the world, veterinary assistant, zoo education officer, blah blah blah…  The pay is shit but I love what I do; how many people do you know who can get paid to carry a 9.5ft boa constrictor around to show people.  If you don’t believe me, here’s Angelica in action!

Angelica

There are certain things you have to forego if you work with animals, mainly vanity!  It’s really hard to feel attractive when you’re wearing polyester high-waisted men’s trousers, steel toe-capped boots and huge cable-knit jumper.  I spend my time stinking of various animals (armadillo is the worst!) and washing blood or worse out of my hair!  I also carry permanent reminders – my hands are wrecked due to being bitten so many times by cats/kinkajous/horses/small rodents.  I also have a particularly fetching permanent scar across my cheek, handiwork of this wee monster:

Kinkajou

Yeah – he is REALLY not as cute as he looks!  Shamen is a kinkajou and a complete handful, but very very funny and I forgive him for mauling both my hands and my face!

Ok…I’ll shut up now, but here are a few more of my wee pals:

me-croc.jpg

Me and Dillon the armadillo – it’s love!

Me and Dillon


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