10 years on…

This one’s a wee treat for my school friends, especially Rhi.  Just to prove I’ve not lost it.

Bet you wish you’d joined the fan club NOW, eh!?!           

A Trip to the Doctor

All is not well in La-La Land.  A fantastic weekend saw a welcome return visit to the homeland, involving drinks, friends, the Liquid Room, dancing, falling over, sleep, no sleep, fun chat, feeling too sick to eat, socks, trains, curry, movies and a plane.   

Somewhere on these travels a weird virusy-type-thing took over, resulting in 3 days off work sick, followed by an attempt to return to work, only to be met with “you look like shit, go home”.  General common sense decided a doctor should be consulted.  Being new to London, search for said ‘doctor’ commenced.  Attempts to ask the general public on a street corner were unsuccessful, resulting in them trying to avoid me    especially this dude:

Resorting to 118 247, the helpful telephone number, I located not one, but THREE doctors in the immediate vicinity.  Choosing one at random I couldn’t understand a word the woman said, but got the gist that they’d see me if I came now.  On arrival at said doctors clinic I was greeted by all three staff; doctor, nurse and receptionist.  The arrival of a new patient was obviously a novelty.

Evidence implied pee sticks are tested by the nurse and discarded into a wastepaper basket under the desk.  Looking about I could see a number where she’d missed her target.  Considering this was 11am either there were many patients that morning, or cleaning is not their strong point.  She then proceeded to spend the next 3/4 hour typing my information into computer followed by saying she needed the number for my old GP.  Having provided this she began to use the phone.  “Erm…could I see the doctor now?” I tentatively asked. 

  The consultation with the doctor included the following:

• An enquiry into what I do for a living.

Answering this innocent small talk question resulted in him asking if he could please pass my phone number to his brother who is a livestock manager to then ask for advice about cattle welfare!  Oh and he’s now going into goats so could I add a bit about that?

Then could I come do a talk about animal welfare for a group he runs please.  He’ll be in touch with me using my mobile number (faithfully supplied, along with details of my latest blood tests and family medical history).

A prescription later, I arrived at the pharmacy to discover I’d been prescribed the following:

so if you didn’t catch that: Ibuprofen (he prescribed 3 packets – that’s enough to commit suicide!), cough medicine, antibiotics and pain ointment.  Whole prescription cost came to £18.00.

I’m changing doctors!

Introducing…the stars of Fishblog

In alphabetical order…

Gary Wood

 

Easily recognisable as one of the two white and largest fish on the block, Gary Wood has a distinctive purple flash across his cheeks.  Usually the first to investigate any activity around the tank, Gary Wood is a friendly comedic fish, however he doesn’t take any shit from his conspecifics and can be a bit of a barger.

Harry

Don’t let the masculine sounding name deceive you – her floating fins and red and white patchy colouring mark Harry out as a model fish in the making.  A popular fish, she drifts around the others and tends to be pretty central to the tank.  She’s very close to her fellow girl fish and is mostly to be found gossiping with Nina and sister Jpo.

Jpo

The first of the gang to be named, Jpo is a goldfish with a twist. Demure at first glance, she turns round to display fabulous white floaty fins.  A social butterfly, Jpo enjoys nothing more than catching up with her pals Nina, Gary Wood, Leebo and sister Harry.  In her spare time she relaxes by taking long luxurious baths. 

Leebo

Don’t let the size of this fish deceive you; a gentle giant, Leebo is the daddy of the group, looking out for his fellow piscines.  Easily recognisable due to his size and the fact that he is white and not orange, Leebo is a sensitive fish, a writer of long prose and fine orator.   Very popular with the ladies in the tank.

Nina

Although popular with her fellow fish, Nina is an extremely laid back fish who can normally be found enjoying leisurely swims among the foliage at the back of the tank.  An individual, she has fabulous floaty orange fins which catch the light and, despite her small size (she is the smallest of the group), she stands out at once.  

Whodunnit?

There’s been a murder.

Returning from a trip to the homeland, I received a report regarding a missing person, or rather, fish.  Search teams donned underwater gear and began a fingertip search of the local area.  At 11:21pm last night they found the body. 

You may find the following images disturbing:

The victim has not yet been formally identified.  It is thought that he might be a local fish.  Detectives have opened an investigation and have said they suspect this death was not an accident; there are five suspects in custody and police will be interviewing all five today.  This is all the information right now, updates will be posted as soon as they are made available. 

Meanwhile, if you knew the victim, please call our support line on 08009 453 876 76

Coming Soon…………..

FISHBLOG!

 

 They never sleep.  They are never still.  They are always watching…

My Attempt

Well, everyone else was doing it!

 Mine’s a daytime shot. 

Yes, I agree, not so awe-inspiring as pink and purple skies, but I like it because it looks hopeful.  Look at how determined the Sun looks! 

Plus I reckon it’s about time daytime got a look in – sunrise and sunset get far too much press.

Abuse of Power

I know what you did.

I know who you are.

I’m watching you.

A Date with Justice

I can take or leave Valentine’s Day. I’m perplexed when I see people walking down the street holding heart-shaped balloons on a string. Don’t get me wrong, I am a hopeless romantic, but I’m the kind of girl who appreciates a well thought-out mix-CD. This is why I will someday marry John Cusack.

This year, a special event happened to coincide with Valentine’s Day. Quite by accident a chance happening upon some extra tickets sealed my date with Justice.

The date started well. I spent a happy hour in my own company in a pub just off Tottenham Court Road with a beer. Watching the couples around me desperately making romantic effort I drank my Cusquena and exchanged a few words with a fellow lone drinker who turned out to be from a place called Australia (what are the odds?!). My fellow Justice-seeker, new-housemate-Ollie, soon joined me and over tapas we talked dolphins and breastmilk.

At the Astoria the illuminated Cross induced excitement. No fewer than 18 Marshall amps were used to full effect, and the crowd were on form. I was under no illusion of being the only one in my relationship and I soon found myself on a platform with two fellow daters Spike and Alan, who did a fine job of preventing me from being catapaulted face-first. I quickly learned the skill of jumping up and down whilst not falling off the platform, a talent I will take with me to future events.

By popular request, I took some videos. The footage is shaky at best due to said jumping up and down, however I believe I’ve succeeded in capturing a little of the excitement, plus if you’re eagle-eared you will hear the very moment I made acquaintance with my fellow-daters. The few blank moments are due to phone being knocked out of hand and recovered from air where it was duly flying.

gary wood is amazing!!!!

Am I? We’ll find out…

I dreamt (what a funny word that is – ‘dreamt’) last night that Maggie Thatcher died and that I had a nephew. 

Now I don’t want Maggie to die as that’s not very nice, although I would really like a nephew (small hint to my brother).  But I thought I’d blog this just in case i’m psychic.

I Captured the Sun

I took this photo yesterday. It was meant to be of Westminster Cathedral. 

anyone who knows me knows i’m shite with a camera – i point and click and if that doesn’t work i sulk.

But quite by accident I hold the Sun in my hands.  Look!